Karmageddon

I knew in my heart I hadn't created a new word, but I didn't think it would actually be in the dictionary. Be assured this post will have nothing to do with the title and, in fact, I would change it if I weren't so darned curious about how many extra hits I'll get.

Hello Malaysia, how are you? Thank you for dropping by every week.

All of you have heard, read or discovered (lucky you) that "thoughts become things," right? I'll share with you why I truly believe. I sought the help of a shrink to sort out some issues. Who hadn't guessed I needed professional help? Anyone? Now, I happened upon the only shrink in Montana, or probably anywhere else in the World, that began his career as an accountant, earned his MBA and then went back to school to become a psychologist. I like diversity and divergency so I took his experience as an asset. Ever on the lookout for new ways to avoid discussing feelings, I asked him how he went from business to psychology.

He worked at an ag products conglomerate and one of his duties was teaching free business classes to farmers and ranchers. Being at heart a business man he was always trying to decode why one farm prospered and another barely survived. He'd looked for the answer for several years until one day he saw two farms right across the road from each other and one looked very prosperous and the other was just kind of there.  Both farms had the same topography, acreage, soil, sun, rain, crops, prices for crops whatever they were identical in every way except prosperity. His curiosity compelled him to stop and fate had it the prosperous farmer had been attending the free classes. They got to talking and the farmer glowed when he talked about his farm and how it was putting his kids through college, and they were planning to come home and take it over and some day his grandchildren would own it etc. Shrink met the farmer across the road and Farmer B said just the opposite. His kids wanted nothing to do with farming, nobody ever got rich farming, it is what it is etc.

My former psychologist works almost entirely with corporate clients (only taking "unique and challenging" private patients for fun) and, to get to the end, the consistent difference between prosperity and failure, in every business, is attitude and vision.

This post's Trivia Challenge: How many times did I change tenses mid-stream?

Here's a token graphic.

A Mauling By Any Other Name

How do I disown my sole celebrity Twitter follower?  While pondering that, I arrived at a blog plan stinking of don't feel like it, code named Manana. Right now Manana rhymes with banana but, if you add diacritical marks, it's Spanish.  I love magic.  Watch this transition. Nothing up my cerebellum, my hemispheres are empty. . . but PRESTO! You're still reading!  Holy crap! bring me water the masses demand wine!

Why so Inspired? Yesterday, I witnessed my car turn its lifeblood into steam right in the Albertson's parking lot. Part Old Faithful part racehorse, my car couldn't expel fluids fast enough. But that's not the Miracle.  The Miracle is the day before I had journeyed into the heart of no cell coverage. Thirty miles to the nearest free wi-fi coffee shop and there no guarantee of a call. But my car waited, until I parked at home, to spew a quarter mile from my mechanic.  (That was awkward but I have three minutes until adding softener so deal.)

My favorite place in Montana is The Miracle of America Museum.  I could live there. It's one person's dream running amok perserving other people's dreams. Polson, MT.

Okay, it's Manana and what I really want to tell you about last night's post is that I was repeatedly interrupted and interacted with just when I was rolling. My bubble functions as my creative incubator. I need to not be disturbed and this is why I never have my phone on and leave the house at strange hours.

For the Record Mr B refers to hikers as "land salmon." He felt you should know this.

Pursuing Greener Pastures

I spent the afternoon dismembering roses then huffing their scattered remains.  Or to put it more delicately, I spent two hours preparing a shot that took all of ten minutes to shoot, but my living room sure smells pretty.  Isn't it interesting how the same situation can be viewed in different ways?  Pretty darn deep if you ask me.

You all comment on how introspective I seem and that got me to thinking: Why me?  If I'm the introspective friend in your life you're hanging around escaped balloons at the county fair.  I've lived in. . .  let's count out loud. . . (but only after eighteen because I was cloistered in boarding school which is a lot like "Oliver!" with matching blazers) and here's the list: Boston, Barrington, Iowa City, Tampa, Moline, South Lake Tahoe, Albuquerque, Jersey City, New York, Greensboro, St Claire Shores, South Lake Tahoe, Incline Village, Czestochowa, Klaipeda, Carson City, and Missoula.  I can't identify the constant in all these places and you still think I'm the introspective one?  Vaguely apropos, it's like pinning your hopes on a balloon.  Normally, I  edit the last out and keep it for myself but I feel the need to share.

Sharing. Wow! I think that's how life happens. Keep your fingers crossed because plasma and sperm sales are supporting Jotsalot Media LLC.

I'm leaving Missoula in three weeks to nest somewhere.

Meeting of The Minions II: Time to Lawyer Up

The beauty of rocketing towards poverty is it leaves Tuesdays free.  Not really free, Tuesday's I drive around looking for dead things in the ditch to take pictures of so technically I'm working. Yep, I gave up a lucrative career as a temp/day trader to shoot roadkill.  You know why I'm sharing this? I will dedicate my first book to any tipster who knows where there's a carcass with flowers growing out of it.  (Shhhh don't tell Cliff I'm ripping off his shot.)

Jotsalot Media LLC held its second weekly What-Are-We-Doing meeting, this year, to discuss what exactly it is we're doing.  And if you remember the last time we had a meeting, I made the mistake of asking The Minions what they thought.  Never ask tenured employees what they think.

The Two Rules for Building a Media EmpIre:
1) There is an I in EmpIre
2) Cater the semi-annual weekly meeting and ask questions only when The Minions are chewing 

This morning, The Minions did make some garbled, chin-wiping sense between bites mostly having to do with me.  It's always me like they don't have jobs around here.  I love The Minions, they're like facets of me, but they need to step up, grab the bull by the horns and put their noses to the grindstone.  Not to sound cliche, but they need to give themselves a life wedgie and focus.

Ms M mentioned us needing a lawyer.  But what kind?  Personal injury? Corporate? A shyster willing to bury money in a Swiss backyard?  Lawyers are good letterhead because they scare people.  Their breath smells like they've been licking peanut butter off a dog and they use Latin, but they keep the jackals away.  I agreed to prepare for thinking about a lawyer.

What else happened this week?  I found a one act I wrote in college and added rewriting it to my list of Things That Will Someday Make Me Feel Guilty But I'll Never Do.  And we're a week closer to the Promised Land.

Relativity

I've reached the age when the only women attracted to me have expiring eggs and father issues.

And to be perfectly honest, dealing with that is taking up all my blog energy.

Fudging the Line Between Multi-Tasking and Polygamy

I never asked where babies came from, but one day a doctor came to school and told the girls in the morning and the boys in the afternoon.  I must not have paid attention because I don't have any and the topic of where babies don't come from wasn't covered in fourth grade health.

I don't have any babies to show from Jotsalot Media this week either.  Oh sure, there were the usual scratchings and plannings, but nothing really got done.  It's not that we weren't working, we just didn't actually finish anything-like the corporate laundry.  I washed it and put it in the dryer, but I lacked the attention span to move beyond damp and I have clammy socks to prove it.

Did you know people with ADD are natural multi-taskers?  It makes perfect sense if you think about it.  Eureka! we were multi-tasking and ran out of time.  That's what the week was about.  The good news is, within the next few days, lots will suddenly be finished.  Rationalization complete.

Next week I might try my hand at polygamy.

I went to shoot flood shots today for Timpkins' book.  The thing about Montana is there's always a person or electrical wire or something trying to be in every shot.  Today it was the sun invading and I couldn't get an exposure long enough to make the water move.  I slapped on a neutral density filter and a polarizer and still couldn't get any movement.  But you know what's fun about that?  I changed plans and shot video to sell to an animator I just happen to know.  AND the Genius Bolt zapped me with an idea for my stereoscopic camera.  AND I know where I'll be shooting tomorrow night.  Do so work around here.

Oh and a little tease for next week, I'll be posting Norma Timpkins' "Love Like a Litterbox."

Journey to the Beginning of Time

Do you remember Garfield Goose and Friends?  If you do you're probably maturish and from Chicago.  I don't why it came to me today, but if you remember Garfield Goose and Friends you'll remember a serial about four boys who get lost while rowing in Central Park (yes, the one in New York) and end up in the age of dinosaurs.  Anyway, something prodding my memory after forty-five years was worth at least five minutes of YouTubing.  There's a new verb for you and here's another one Clutch Cargoing (to creep people out using lips).  Okay, not a real productive use of time unless I ask, "What makes work last?"  Why has I Love Lucy been on for almost sixty years?  And how long have people been staring at the Mona Lisa?  Why?  Why?  Why?  If I can answer the why then I just need to answer the how to become immortal in a viral internety way.  Such are the questions I use to rationalize watching Brady Bunch reruns.

I spent the week trying to pay more attention to what's happening outside of my office/dungeon/domicile.  This involved a lot of news watching versus interacting, reading instead of writing and YouTubing.  Am I the last to hear of YouTube?  So, I poke my head out of wherever I keep it and this is what I see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS4C7bvHv2w  I can't compete with this reality thing.  Be honest could you have imagined this?  Maybe this is what keeps I Love Lucy and the Brady Bunch on all these years.  They're thisclose to reality without ever crossing the boundary into absurd.

Alright, so maybe some of my ideas need a second pair of eyes on them.  And maybe The Minions are developing into flesh and bone characters that are a little too real to be healthy.  And I definitely need to get out more, but I'm not sure I can do reality.

You want fun.  You want to be entertained.  You want almost-kind-of-possible-reality, right?  Okay, because that's where we're headed.