The beauty of rocketing towards poverty is it leaves Tuesdays free. Not really free, Tuesday's I drive around looking for dead things in the ditch to take pictures of so technically I'm working. Yep, I gave up a lucrative career as a temp/day trader to shoot roadkill. You know why I'm sharing this? I will dedicate my first book to any tipster who knows where there's a carcass with flowers growing out of it. (Shhhh don't tell Cliff I'm ripping off his shot.)
Jotsalot Media LLC held its second weekly What-Are-We-Doing meeting, this year, to discuss what exactly it is we're doing. And if you remember the last time we had a meeting, I made the mistake of asking The Minions what they thought. Never ask tenured employees what they think.
The Two Rules for Building a Media EmpIre:
1) There is an I in EmpIre
2) Cater the semi-annual weekly meeting and ask questions only when The Minions are chewing
This morning, The Minions did make some garbled, chin-wiping sense between bites mostly having to do with me. It's always me like they don't have jobs around here. I love The Minions, they're like facets of me, but they need to step up, grab the bull by the horns and put their noses to the grindstone. Not to sound cliche, but they need to give themselves a life wedgie and focus.
Ms M mentioned us needing a lawyer. But what kind? Personal injury? Corporate? A shyster willing to bury money in a Swiss backyard? Lawyers are good letterhead because they scare people. Their breath smells like they've been licking peanut butter off a dog and they use Latin, but they keep the jackals away. I agreed to prepare for thinking about a lawyer.
What else happened this week? I found a one act I wrote in college and added rewriting it to my list of Things That Will Someday Make Me Feel Guilty But I'll Never Do. And we're a week closer to the Promised Land.
1. This is a super post and I think you're pretty lucky that you can tuck this into a nice travel case for posterity.
ReplyDelete2. I admire lawyers their Latin, but it's such ... legal Latin, not ... Latin Latin. One of the things I like best about Brits - at least the ones with a classical education - is their easy breezy way with Latin. I wish I had that with English.
That's all.
I love it! In my experience most lawyers are just people who like to talk (a lot) and then bill you (a lot) for listening. I think it would be better to hire a musician, which would be less expensive and more enjoyable, unless one of The Minions is already a singer/songwriter, which wouldn't surprise me a bit. But a musician wouldn't scare people, or speak Latin, unless you got a really bad mariachi band, in which case res ipsa loquitur. (Sorry--I got carried away. I may need to switch to decaf.)
ReplyDeleteBoo Da Baby: Thank you. Sometime I'd like to post one that was at least a second draft.
ReplyDeleteCliff: Unleash the minstrels! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_zRjzIwYbY Any quality roadkill down your way?
First off... Lawyers are like roaches... When you see one.. there are 24 more crawling around somewhere looking for food... <3 (I do have first hand knowledge you know ;))
ReplyDeleteSecond.. From this point forward I will be looking for random road kill on the side of the road to see if there are flowers in it?? Does this make me as crazy??!!
And finally.. the 'waiting for them to be chewing trick before you ask any questions' Oldie but goodie.. always works for awhile.. sometimes that will give you the best answers... But then you have to mix it up so they don't catch on...
Last comment - the censorship police are in full force... so my contact is limited at this point... I do my best creeping while at work.. guess I'll have to just harrass the minions more... Poor Minions...
Amy: Silly, your Pops is a judge not a real lawyer.
ReplyDeleteI need the shot for a renewal quote. Any old road kill without pansies growing out of it will do.
Next meeting I'm holding a saltines eating contest. I've seen you feeding Your Minions to snook, that's cruel and leaves a mark. Try flushing the toilet when they're washing away chemical spill. Oops! ;)
Wow! That tune would even scare a few lawyers. Haven't seen any good roadkill. I think with the rustic gentry we have at this end of the valley it would quickly find its way into someone's barbecue.
ReplyDeleteCliff: I love Eek! The Cat. It's one of those Saturday morning cartoons for us grownups. I've given up on free-range roadkill; switched to finding a ribcage trellis in a rancher's yard.
ReplyDeleteHello from Bozeman. Aren't lawyers roadkill in disguise? I like my roadkill served alongside a heapin' helpin' of hypocracy. Nummmmers.
ReplyDelete