Brain Like a Cork

Accepting I turn into a St Bernard at night wasn't difficult, I've slept on puddled pillows for years. It's just who I am. Accepting I'll never complete a marathon was easy too (especially since I lack any desire to run one). But discovering my brain bobs like cork is unacceptable to me. It's kind of a good news/bad news thing--I guess. The good news is my brain will never drown, the bad news is it sinks to the level of the people I'm around.

Good news is now I'll be choosing more carefully and wisely who I spend time with.

Freedom. . .I Had It All Along

Believing others grant freedom was the biggest mistake of my life. You choose freedom. Why isn't this taught in schools?

So, today I declare my self free.

A Gift Long Waiting to be Opened

Today I learned it's easier to be thankful.

Eleven

Returning to place I called home thirty-five years ago. Technically, I'm not moving back to the town I grew up in, but close enough.  I won't know anyone' s name, but will know everyone.  Anyway, I'm free in eleven days and heading there to nest.

Single Island Seeks Archipelago

As painless as it sounds, being an island is a lot like being a fire walking snail. Sure, there's glory and bragging rights, but you're still smearing on aloe by yourself.

Two weeks before I'm able to rejoin society.

Tortoise and the Island

Once upon a time tortoises ruled the sea. Not really, but when you live a couple hundred years you get to eyewitness history anyway you want.

In three weeks, I'll be free of what's been killing me daily for the last few years. I imagine it'll be like getting over a really bad cold without crusty tissues everywhere.

I'm so excited to launch Patch.

Friday the Thirteenth

How lost must you be to kill so many?

The Importance of Giving Up

Turns out I'm not the mild-mannered Pisces I thought me to be, but a bad ass Scorpio Ascendant. Yep, I'm in the elite group of serial killers and titans of industry causing you to cower under the  covers at night. I've suspected it all along. It's why poaching the library's wi-ft feels like a birthright.


Shouldn't all my badassness ensure my getting the wi-fi I'm paying for? Apparently, not, Day 10 of no wi-fi at home.

Crash

My internet connection is completely gone but, embracing my roguish self, I'm illegally using the library to post I cant post.

The 100th Blasphemy Post aka New Day Same Problem

I'm dead but I keep waking up--like Jesus with a snooze alarm.

A Bird Over My head

Avoiding post 100 like it's a toasty warm relationship chat.

The Taste of Humble

Humble is a good starting point. In fact, humble is the base from which all endeavors should be launched--makes the greatness appreciated.

The Gnomes of Gratiot

A page a day completes three movie scripts a year.  Two pages a day finishes three scripts and a novel.  Three pages a day is just crazy talk.

Starting with one push up and adding one a day gets you to 365 push ups a day before the next Resolution season. Sit ups the same. Everything one at a time ends the same.

If it'll help, time finishes its schedule one day at a time whether you do or not.

Rockin 100

Yeah, freedom is just another word for looking for a job. Not really, freedom is all in on something you love.

So Much Better with a Kiss

Waving at the past and thinking I'm not really going to miss you.

When the Groove Looks Like a Rut

The rut looks like a ditch or maybe a long grave, but it doesn't look like a groove.

Another opening line courtesy of Patch.

One More Before the Road

Spending the weekend in Patch with Bernie.

Surefire Pick Up Line

Let's pretend I'm a hungry seagull and you're the garbage barge of my dreams.

Tomorrow's Post

Only keeping  New Year's Resolution. Tomorrow the real post titled "A Complete List of Unfulfilled Dreams."

Accepting Kryptonite

Friday doesn't work right now, or for months now, and I quit now.

Taip

As esu grazus ir protingas, but not today.

Deleting for Destiny

Buying time until 100 and until my room is below 100 and the prickly heat stops itching and the high pitched whine quiets.

The DNA of the Universe

Everyone knows I can't type, right? My biggest obstacles to creation are typing and drawing. I tried bypassing drawing with photography, but I need to learn to draw. I waste so much time trying to build an idea just to take a picure of it. The good news is I love drawing and it's really cheap.

Quiz: Which state is east and west of the Missisippi River?

Okay, two single cell ideas meet immediately.double then double again again again again again again again until another idea is born. Meanwhile across the street,or Universe, another pair of ideas meet then double again again again again again again again until another idea is born..  These new ideas meet and.want me to debut them and continue the cycle. No type and no draw.

Moving to Wisconsin where I belong.

96

Well, this just changes everything. I had no idea it was coming, but I guess that's why they call it SPLAT! Not bad SPLAT! just "I guess this it SPLAT!"

A Brief History of Bernie

"I was born blind and brown in a den outside Patch. My mother slept through my birth as was the custom at the time."

Those two sentences are my life until I die. I believe in Bernie and the stories he needs to tell. I also believe in Patch, a new idea uniting random directions.

I'm happy, except record heat and no air conditioning limits laptop time to minutes. The good news? I write, draw, and think without it.  Even the keys are hot now.

A Fly Embracing the Web

Judging by the bug mummies, the spiders under my desk lived a pretty good life before Big Suck. . .

"Yum free range dust mite, so much better than caged."

" They fed on organic dust bunnies; each bite tastes like freedom of choice in the food chain."

"Are you doing something different with your hair?"

"No."

Thwupe.

"Doug?"

Thwupe.

"I always knew Heaven was a dust bunny ranch and you'd be here."

"Could be brighter, though."

"Needs a lounge filled with bar flies at last call."

Making room under my desk for me feet is a start.

Closing Credits

The rubber duck circling the drain tells me it's over.

Remembering When My Best Times Were Behind Me

If you embrace a cliche for your life, might as well go with a classic.  I'm going with forty days..


No desert involved, but there comes a time in your life when a weekend to plan the rest of you life seems like a good investment.  I know what I want and where I want it to happen. I know who I want in my life. I know what I want say and who I want to hear it.

Saturday the Thirteenth

I had a great title that became a great story that I'm keeping. Along with the  Island post, Tortoise post, Island with Giraffe post, and Saturday the 13th.

Having unprotected thoughts exposed when I need the money, is not happening. I think what I'll start blogging is current events. How can that be hard?

Fritos and Beans

The most amazing idea I've ever goosebumped, unless you count the one I had last week, struck this morning. It's Faulkner drinks with Brautigan brainstorming Aesop. Happiness abounds in my soul. So much happiness I dance like everyone can see me, because I'm Presbyterian from Wisconsin and that 's  the best I can do. It feels good like sin and self-expression should.

Happiness and excited pacing around here.

How do protect ideas, Cliff?

Dancing Details

Okaying yourself with Plan B is quitting in advance. It's like planning a bitter divorce before the first date. It's like taking a hat to a haircut. It's like asking your sister to the prom because you're afraid your cousin will turn you down.

It's saying, "I'm not good enough.".

Why fear what you want unless you're engaged to the Wedding Night Strangler? It's all good and it's all easy.

Even this would be if I'd let it. Used to be I'd come up with a title, set the egg timer to fifteen minutes, and post. Now, it takes fifteen minutes to find the right music. Lately Alice Cooper makes me happy.

You know what would make this easier? Pulling the trigger and just making stuff. A couple months under a bridge rallying the Muses and the next thing you know. . .

Bernie. Lots of action on the Bernie front. With so many tales, for so many people, finding the right way to tell his story was a challenge. So he needs books  for different ages. Once wants to speak. Norma Timpkins publishes before she passes or haunts.

Wi-Fi

I     h     a     t     e     m     o     t     e     l     w     i     f     i.

I Cared. Atlas Shrugged.

Much like Anais Nin I will be rewriting past entries until I look good.  Looking good for first impressions is important; cosmetic surgery says you're in until the collagen leaks.

Lots of things to rework, life among them.

Life loves when you discard mistakes and nurture what needs to be. Have I ever mentioned my carrot and stick theory?  I came up with it while I was sleeping in my car one night.  Distilled to its simplest you get get the stick until you chase the carrot  If your butt's getting beat chase what makes you happy.  Being happy is your job and you're rewarded for doing it well

Understanding all the words doesn't mean I trust  the idea. I should, though.  Everything slides into pockets when I chase happy.

I didn't get a paycheck today from the job eating my brain.  I'm not bitter because I see the carrot and it looks a lot like going home.

Dream Vacation

My dreams are on vacation.  I get it;  Dreams need to grow and evolve without constant bother to become themselves, but to just take off without me?  You'd think they'd have invited me along just to pick up the tab.

My dreams are very fond of tabs  They run'em up and hand me the bill; I wouldn't mind except they never pay me back. Maybe I've been raising bad dreams? No, there are no bad dreams just dreams that need someone else to keep them in line.

My newest baby, to bring into the world, feels like it will hang around to take care of me in my old age..

No.

No.

Karma in a Jar

Smells like the beginning of a new beginning or maybe the end of an ending. But a new week brings the end of old instability and new instability. All is forward, except my projects. My projects are juggling thoughts and siphoning dreams. And so nothing, nothing until nothing is ignored.

If At First You Don't Succeed

You know how your mother always scolded "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? I've decided to take it.

When the Towel Hits the Fan

My corner threw the towel in the wrong direction. I'm thinking Mondays might work better--for a while.

Once Upon an Island

It's a little pondered fact, but for all the time islands spend in water they aren't good swimmers. Only wading because the have to.

I need a new job .So many ideas are dying because I don't have the energy. Sorry, I'll start my next week tomorrow. Again.

So, this is embarrassing. Promising genius and posting nonsense is a bad habit. The problem is the title of this and the first lineish are part of a series of ideas being worked on hoping they lump together into a cohesive longer piece by freewill. Here's hoping.

Closed for Remodeling

Sorry, but we're closed for remodeling this week. Still fulfilling my resolution by squintiest of measures.

The Logic of Earthworms

It all made sense just minutes ago. And now, with the help of several long naps, it all makes sense again.

Did you know earthworms are both male and female completely eliminating the need for bars and commitment?  Never been bar friendly so I'm okay with that, but I am a huge fan of commitment.

Committing gives me goosebumps. Bad ideas, bad people, bad places and my toes curl like my brother-in-law's fingers around a dollar-I just can't let go. I know when it's time to gnaw off my leg and move on, but I just don't do it. And so, the wrong things linger.

Right now, I change.

Embracing Gravity

I'm a thinker not a leaper which means I spend a lot of time staring into water wondering if it's deep; useful if you're not a swimmer or really tall, but I'm neither so more like putting a tiara on fear and calling it a princess.

I believe I just used a semicolon correctly. I've always had a fear of semicolons and talking to myself in diners. I do talk to myself a lot, but mostly because standing in the wrong crowd has made me an island surrounded cannibalistic sharks. Fun fact: Sharks eat more thoughts than people.

Did you know most of my writing fears revolve around punctuation and typing? And copy editors. Copy editors are sharks who can't swim which, I believe, makes them dead.

Somehow this is leading me somewhere.

Oh yeah, my quote in my senior yearbook, "Don't cross the river if  you can't swim the tide." It should have been, "You land every time you leap."

Blowing Candles

Nope, just officially making it a birthday weekend. Happy birthday to tomorrow me.

Looking at Life Through Drama Colored Glasses

I've helped many a mole hill achieve its dream of becoming a mountain. I can't help myself; it's who I am. I see a little mound of potential and throw heaps of dirt long after it begs, "Stop! I'm all I can be!"

Well, here's another one that will finish on another day. I like the title and the idea, but the soul suck paying the rent is killing my thinking. Note to self: learn to leave work at work.

Groundless Fears : Flying

I can't help but notice the farther away from Earth I get the more particular I get about how I return to it.

Manana.

Heart Like an Anvil

I wear my heart like a target same as  everyone else. I shave parts of me into crop circles just like everyone else (or like anyone willing to date interstellar, and I'm so open to off planet dating). I feign interest in car parts just like everyone else and I find only hammers. Clumsy hammers.

I'm not asking for a castle and private bathroom; I'm looking for someone who can hammer a nail without hitting their thumb. Make that what you want but I was going for nonsexual metaphor meaning someone who knows what they want. I'm looking for someone who isn't looking to hit what won't hit them back--like an anvil.  Again, I mean that metaphorically. For the record, love isn't an anvil it's quicksand that will suck in if you even poke at it with a toe.

Where is this all going? I have no idea.

Dancing with Myself

Front step back step side step tap.  Front step back step side step tap. I put my right lobe in I put my right lobe out I put my right lobe in and I shake out a sixty hour work week that should have put this first.

Itzhak

I cleared time to make a list of all the ways I procrastinate: planning, miming, revisiting old ideas, and making lists. I also fantasize castles are

Over.

Deep Sea Sigh

"Follow the bubble. Follow the bubble," they advised.

"Which one? Which one?"

"The right one!"

Whilst trying to decide which bubble was the right one, I slowly sank to the bottom. Not all the way to the bottom, but close enough to hear the clams laughing at my indecision and let me tell you clam laughter is the cruelest laughter of all.

So, what about "Bernie" who strongly prefers not to be in quotes? He's chugging along and, just maybe, is the bubble I should have chosen. Norma Timpkins is another good bubble and so is JOHN. Lots of bubbles all going up and my only job is to float with them

Bernie

Castles were built to keep out the people who couldn't dream.

Pretty simple, right?  I think so.  So, I'm dedicating my life to building my castle.

Before I was only throwing rocks, tonight I'm laying the first brick.You won't see it for a while.  Maybe a couple of weeks, but you will see it and you will note my start.

I've named my castle "Bernie."

Rationalizing Resolutions or Hoping the Mirror Won't Notice

Welcome to Second Friday blog post replete with second-string thoughts. If I'm not mistaken, this is my second post in the last six years about not having anything to post about.  Maybe you would like to go back to the beginning and find that particular post, becuase I'm sure it's better than this one.  Or maybe not.  You know, what would be a really good idea?  Saying I'm just going to go ahead and do this in the morning but tell myself I kept my resolution of blogging every Friday night, because I posted this closebutnotquite.

You what else is a problem?  Sitting in a New Mexican diner and noticing all the pictures of flowers aren't necessarily pictures of flowers.

Somewhere, a baby thought waits to be born -- just not tonight.

Here's the thought: I only like things  that make me smarter, richer, or thinner. 

Happy New Post!

This year I resolved to enhance the appearance of my blog by posting on it.  Granted, it's only the second day of the year and I forgot to come up with a blog topic.

Just to catch you up, my life has improved since quitting my mortuary job upselling coffins to widows, but still isn't back to precrash status.  But that's all going to change soon.  Maybe maybe not, I don't know except I've resolved to post a new blog every Friday night.  So sit back and wait for next Friday when things will definitely be better.

Or so they say.