Present Tense

I don't want to live in my present.

Someday and Once are the two most important ideas in my World at this moment. They're like consolation prizes for my present which really isn't what I want it to be. In fact, according to my re-imagined memories and future fantasies, my present is the opposite of everything I've ever wanted or want. This can't possibly be if my thoughts become things unless youthful plans were just fears in disguise.

But I do believe thoughts become things.

Here are some thoughts on my present

I think I have a real future in comic strips. I've secretly always wanted to pair my thoughts with illustrations

I wake up in the most frightening state imaginable, but live a really fantastic life as soon as I get to work and shut off my present

I think my ideas are better than they've ever been, however I completely lack concentration and energy. Mostly, they are matured ideas I wasn't ready for when they first appeared

I'm developing the idea of “redefinition” slightly different from rationalizing in that outcomes are adapted to be the best possible given the circumstances

My present is plain tiring and frustrating. Trying to find energy be focusing on creating only works for a short while then I need rest and time.

Dance Like It Keeps You from Screaming

Sometimes I focus so much on the smoke and mirrors I lose sight of the magic.

Right now the smoke looks like overtime and the mirrors paychecks,  And all that means is I'm not doing what I should be doing.  Trading my life for a living, which is what  I am doing, doesn't make me happy, but neither does starving outdoors.

I collect thoughts a minute here and a minute there and plan on some project getting finished, but that's like collecting leaves thinking some day they'll be a tree.  I think I"ll keep that one.

Here's what I have been doing

Learning to color without lines.  It's part of a journaling project to create and finish something small every day,  The leaf and tree thing again.

Meticulously filling 2019 weekly planner with 2018 projects.  It's useful.  Really it is and they're all color coded.

Planning for a better new year makes the dying of 2018 all seem worth it,

Renovation and the Reluctant Hammer

Sometimes,you decide to throw punctuation to the wind and do nothing.  Wanted to do something, but nothing is what I got.

Diversifying the Empire

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose.
But the theory now goes
That the apple's a rose,
And the pear is, and so's
The plum, I suppose.
The dear only knows
What will next prove a rose.
You, of course, are a rose -
But were always a rose.

R. Frost

Once I thought I was in love with a girl named Rose and memorized this poem to impress her. She thought I wrote it and didn't appear impressed, at that point, neither was I.

You know what the best thing about dogs is? They're always in love. -Wisdom, Pillow Talk with Wisdom

A lot can be said for filling up space with quotes, but only if they're your own. -God, The Bible

Adopting an undisciplined approach to writing certainly frees up a lot of time, but you can't count on people quoting you as part of the cultural zeitgeist. I do so want to be quoted on mugs, tee shirts, calendars, shower curtains, and throw pillows. Nothing as profound as “Have a Nice Day” but still something dazzling to the wit. I have whole series code named “I” which I hope to get up on Zazzle this week, Redbubble deeper into the future, A funny thing happened the other day that forced me to open a Gmail account and then a YouTube channel. The YouTube channel must be thought about, named tested, and tutorialized before it gets launched. Oh, and the pesky content thing. Content always seems the fly paper in the ointment.

Too Late for Smart

We have art in order not to die of the truth.

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

Sometimes a woodpecker is just banging its head against a tree.

Temper tantrums are heallthy outlets for minor frustrations.  Pity oatmeal's voiceless spluts of indignity boiling to paste or the Mighty Oak dropping an acorn while being tattooed with Love's initials.  Celebrating our perceived slights makes us human and a lot more fun to hang around with than oatmeal. Great art comes from a place of anger not drowsy contentment.  The potato chip was invented during a tantrum  And, I'm pretty sure the funniest thing I ever uttered was mid-fit.

Another healthy outlet disguises itself as stability.  Not the aforementioned drowsy contentment, but knowing your next meal exists and your pillow knows its place.  The release of worry to concern itself with little things like your )(*&!!# neighbor parking his dually over three parking spaces is the outlet.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure that made no sense.  Absolutely positive after reading it.

What happened to Chelsea?  Where's Bernie?  They're hiding behind a month-long drowsy battle with Muses seeking their own outlet.

HotTime!

I'm euphemistically calling mindless spinning "multitasking". That is to say I'm flopping around with good intentions which we used to call "aerobics", but, in this case should rightly be called "proactive procrastination" or "pretending".

Would you care for an example? punctuation inside or outside the quotes.  I  can easily absorb a day--and several trips to the bathroom-on this without encointering the issue by putting words to blog.  Truly fascinating how so much thought and planning results in so little work.

You know what else fascinates me? how not being able to see the small screen on my laptop kills my typing,spelling, and creativity.  Purchasing a monitor fixes the problem, but where's the fun in that?

So, tomorrow I move back to the place I never should have left in the first place.  I'll buy a monitor, paint the windows black and publish the first "Chelsea" installment and, with time, have my Zazzle store opened.  Yay tteam of one!

Sam and The League of Spotted Gentlemen

It occurs to me drowning people might simply be lost under water and to them I say: Follow the bubbles, they know where they're going.

Back in once upon a time, to avoid writing letters, I wrote a quarterly newsletter filled with tasty facts about me and two stories I planned to release as serials. The first was "Bernie" and the second was "Chelsea."  "Bernie" has been written as a children's book and outlined as a story for grown ups.  (Grown ups who want to read about a bear with a penchant for interpretive dance and mauling campers, that is.)  "Chelsea" followed the life of a breeder sow with dreams of becoming a Broadway dancer.  "Chelsea" always had focus while "Bernie" has been so many different stories that I can't seem to feel the right one "Bernie" not The Bernie is heading for Patch and I hope it's a good home for him.  Chelsea squeals, "Write me!" every time I see a box of Cheez-Its (her favorite snack).  So, I'm setting aside Norma Timpkins' poetry, "Pillow Talk with Wisdom," "A is for Arsenic: A Handbook for Women in Love," to focus on "Chelsea" and Zazzle.

Sam died last week so you probably won't meet him any time soon. I will always treasure our Saturday nights watching "Batman" and playing Twister. RIP