What do you mean I can't take the dog? I can't take The Minions either? Explain this Heaven thing again. Oh, they're going. I guess that makes sense. Heaven needs a shoe chewer, salmon slapper and helium huffer to keep Their EOE status. Really? Just thinking about it was enough? And I'm guessing the blind thing is true too. Oh, so not all once it adds up and smacks you when you hit forty. So every person I see holding a menu at three feet has been. . . We should have formed a league or something. Not helping my case, huh?
We had a morbidly introspective week here at Jotsalot Media and it started on Monday. A Monday morning mirror is a cruel mistress, all about mortality, deadlines and comparisons to classmates doing really well. Not, we-used-our miles-to-upgrade-to business-class well; we-always-fly-business well. I fall short of that. Tuesday I tried on a suit for the first time in nine years only to discover they've all shrunk. I think it's existential withering from not feeling fulfilled as a garment. I am the same svelte person I was when I could still see my toes and not time or pizza will change that. Wednesday I was a debutante waiting to be courted after sending out a resume. Thursday was plain ugly and I was trying to pretend my resume was just buried in a busy person's cyber in-box. Today I wrote my little fingers to the bone as it should be.
I suppose some of you are wondering what just happened. I couldn't resist clicking on the inverted quotation marks and presto! I made this post look really long. All-in-all it was a productive week and I shouldn't be too hard on myself or The Minions. And as for the classmate thing, that's a 36x48 sheet of blank paper to fill-every day. I want to see them try that in business class.
I suppose some of you are wondering what just happened. I couldn't resist clicking on the inverted quotation marks and presto! I made this post look really long. All-in-all it was a productive week and I shouldn't be too hard on myself or The Minions. And as for the classmate thing, that's a 36x48 sheet of blank paper to fill-every day. I want to see them try that in business class.
I'm here to make the bubble grow bigger, not burst it, but you force me to say that it's probably pretty easy to carry around a sheet of blank paper and sneak it straight into business class. I'm sorry, but that's my experience. They can do almost all the things we can. :\
ReplyDeleteBut can they do it backwards in heels?
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better.. I got a splinter in my foot today.. I came upon the realization that 1. I can't get my foot up on the sink anymore??? wth happend to my flexablity and 2. I can't see the damn thing?! I can feel it.. I see something... but I am just poking around at it with the twizzers and will need some form of assistance that the dogs can not provide... so there... I can see my toes but I can't get to them.. I believe it is about age grasshopper... welcome to old age..:)
ReplyDeleteAmy: You're not old until the roots don't match the ends without a baseball cap. -Norma Timpkins
ReplyDeleteMe, too. I'm waiting for the Rapture, too. But, I fear, we must go through some pretty rough times: anarchy, police state, dirty bombs, the whole-9-yards first. But! WooHoo! How long is this meeesly existence? 88ish years? How long is eternity Upstairs? Thar ya go, girl. So have faith I'll see you soon. Pray for me as I'll do vice-versa, k? Then, GoodLord! What a TOTALLY kick-ass party we'll have for eons and eons... See ya soon, gorgeous --- PS This blog, 1-outta-11, is how I wish to serve you and honor you in Heaven. N'joy.
ReplyDelete