The Fly

For the last two years, I've struggled with a corrosive environment, inside and out, that has made writing this impossible.  Until I can escape it, I won't be posting.

A Christmas Carol

Failure is the opportunity to start again with more knowledge. -J. Sklep

I think lots of people have said that in one way or another. None on a mug or tasteful neck tattoo, but here's a fun fact speaking of necks: No one wants to suck on your ex-boyfriend's name.

Other than not getting a tattoo, here's what not to do—embrace a mistake. Examine it, learn from it, then bury it. Bury it so deep no future can excavate it and then plant a tree upon it, I don't do that. I wrap my whole soul around a mistake, and make it the symbol of my life. When really all it should amount to is the elimination of what doesn't work so what does work can be more easily found.

Here's a mistake I revisit, and never quite learn: I can't write and listen to anything with words.Yet , I continue trying while listening to the greatest possible distraction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gJ3jINcTR0

Happy Thanksgiving

There's no lonelier feeling than sittiing at Thanksgiving dinner, surrounded by family, knowing you have nothing in common with any of them.

More Sock Puppets--I Guess

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects. — Albert Einstein

It's hard to be happy when you can't put on your socks. I wouldn't have guessed it, and no one has written a book about it, but it's true. It starts your every day with a simple task fail. Great.

And your shoes slow rot.

Dramatic effect intended. Not that the smell of Nike necrosis wouldn't have tipped you off to my problem. But how, you wonder, did this happen?

I attached my back to the happiness of others and let them have their way with it--for money. Not even a lot of money, barely money to keep me lubed and ibuprofened enough to keep showing up. In pursuit of their goals, or their boss's goal, or their boss's mother's goal, but never in the pursuit of mine, Life requires money and money is sold time, I get it. But the question I should have asked a long time ago is: How much of life am I willing to sell? How much damage to me for lunch money? Apparently, needing forceps and a rolled up magazine to pull on socks worth. This is several blogs ago news now, however the lack of a workable solution keeps it topical on Planet JOHN.

There is a simmering hope out there in the form of discontent salted with anger. If I were happy with my life right now, I would be worried about me right now. Fact is channeling discontent keeps me up at night wondering why I'm not awake and going forward. That's positive.

And you know what else is positive? My Zazzle store. They handle production and shipping while PayPal handles the money. The only solution I can see at the moment. Let's hope it's a good one.

It's a Gift

Writer's Note: Between battling bouts of leprosy and melancholia, I wrote notes for what was to be today's blog. The notes worked better than the mishmoshing I titled “10262019blog.”

Dream is not a bad word. Dream is not a word reserved for the naive. Dream is the first word to happiness. Dream is the seed of innovation. Dream is why you can't sleep. Dream is breath. Dream is a parachute when life crashes. Dream is why you are here.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Mark Twain

Dream killers, life suckers, disastrous distractions in the form of friendly advice. Never listen to advice from someone who doesn't have to live with the outcome. Best intentions is failure. Toxic people, no matter who, are not acknowledged in my life. They hate you because they are afraid. Be selective with whom you share.

I'd hate to die without ever having done what I was born to do. What if the only thing you've ever wanted to do scares your parents? your teachers? What if the thing you were born to do is so far out of their experience they smirk because they can't comprehend?   Find a role model on the internet, preferably a successful one.

Live for “why” not “how.” Know what your dream is and why it must happen, not how it must happen. Work towards it every day every day every day every day. Know your gift and give it every day.

Be thankful.

Guilt is a Sucking Feeling

In the last month, I've figured out a lot about life. Mostly, how to get the things I really want, however now that I understand the process I feel guilty when I don't invest every energy into making it work.

I anticipated super results, and I'm okay with super results, but the guilt was a surprise.

Guilt is taking your mother on your honeymoon so she won't feel left out. Guilt is taking a warm mud bath in quicksand. Guilt is the octopus you keep in your underwear because otherwise those silk boxers are too darned comfortable, or. . .

Maybe guilt is the stick to happiness' carrot?

If it is then there can be no joy in the process or the result. “I understand the process part, but why the result?” said ThisIsYou talking. Because instead of admiring your achievement, you'll only be glad it's over. You were going to figure that out, but I wanted you to ponder something much darker which is: I have a job counting houses. Yep, envy me.

I have a job, and that's a good thing, but I now view every house counted, every second explaining why I count houses, to be wasted life. I feel guilty for not applying my new found knowledge to achieving my dreams, but I'd feel guilty for not working, too.

Maybe, I'm transitioning from necessity to only doing what I love?  Applying my new found knowledge, I'll give the transition two more weeks and then I'll only make money doing what I love.

What Was Once A Puzzle Is Now Just Pieces

It all seemed so simple in the brochure. Eat your vegetables, do what you're told, go to school, get a job, and life would be smooth. Basically, they told us to embrace our inner cow and the World would curl up in our laps. Not so much.

Seems like they issued the puzzle with a couple pieces missing. Happiness comes to mind and so does freedom of choice. What if I didn't want to wear a suit to support the three kids I didn't want either? I struggled with “supposed to” and “want to” for years. Just ask my ulcers, they'll tell you. But the reality is no law- physical or biblical-says you can't be a responsible, productive person doing what makes you happy. Do you know what that means for us? We can choose to do what makes us happy and still be responsible adults.

Wow!